Personal Requests

August 4, 2009, 2:41 pm by dc-agape.

August 3, 2009

I promised one of my readers to go into more detail about how I over came my Southern Baptist indoctrination.  In previous posts I have mentioned my love of science (specifically chemistry), my loathing of hypocrisy, the lack of evidence that prayer works, and even my distrust of the proofs that the Holy Ghost exists.  But there are certain characteristics of my upbringing that I should point out that were essential to my de-conversion.

I am not sure if the first one comes from my romanticized image of the rebellious nature of the Southern Rebel or if it comes from my parent’s obsession with explaining everything to me as a child.  I know that many Southerners do not question everything…i.e. the Southern Baptists.  But I do know that I have always questioned everything.  Since a very early age I have been told the answer to the questions that I asked my parents.  They were always patient with my “Why?”  Only the church leaders told me “take it on faith”.  This annoyed me from as far back as I can remember.  My thought pattern went something like this: “If everything else has a reason…that can be explained to me, why does religion have to be so vague?”  Answers like “you’re not ready for that”, “your too young to understand”, or “it’s too complicated” would only make me want to know the answer more!  And my curiosity was insatiable. 

Another factor from my childhood was my father’s job.  This may sound strange but the nature of his work influenced my perception of the world.  Both my parents were well educated.  My mother graduated top of her class with a BS in Education, and my father was a civil engineer.  His job was with the US Geological Survey.  As a result, we moved a lot.  By the time my parents divorced (when I was 12) I had already lived in NC, FL, SC, and TN.  To a preteen each of these experiences was true “culture shocks”.  I struggled after each move to make new friends, but most of the time they were “transplants” just like me.  As a result, the moves themselves made me more accepting of differences in people.  Since most of my friends were also not from the new state originally, I accepted an even greater diversity of opinions.  But I was always an outsider, a misfit, a geek, and of course the worst insult possible “a fag”. 

Being a “fag” without actually being attracted to boys or girls was another factor in my childhood that influenced my outlook on life and religion.  The same children that called my “fag” were also the most religious!  So my irritation at the blatant hypocrisy grew.  These religious kids were judging me, when their own religion specifically demanded that:

Matt 7:2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Of course, I acted different than them; I was not from the same town, the same church, the same background.  I even remember thinking at one point: “If they really think I’m gay…maybe I should try it”.  I certainly did not know anyone who was gay.  Not until I reached high school was there anyone who was even remotely “flamboyant”.  So all I knew was what other ignorant children told me about homosexuals.  As it turned out one of my best friends in high school was gay…and I did not even know it until after I “came out”.  In fact, when I did finally go to a “gay club” one of the first people I met was the football captain from my Junior year (and I studied him and one of the cheerleaders in our Trigonometry class)!  We did not “hook-up” both of us were so shocked to see each other we barely spoke.

The biggest blow, in childhood, to my acceptance of Southern Baptist (and religious) tradition was the Southern Baptists themselves.  There are two jokes about the SBs that truly reflect my opinion of them.  I will give the punch line to save time, but if you want to read the jokes in full here are the links:  Visiting Heaven and Sinning on Saturday.  In the first joke, a man is visiting heaven…when Peter takes him to where the SBs are worshiping, Peter tells the man to be very quite.  After leaving the area the man asks why and Peter tells him that the SBs believe they are the only ones there.  The second joke is about the difference between Catholics and SBs.  Catholics go to Mass on Sunday so they can be forgiven of their sins…SBs sin all week long so they have to go to church on Sunday.  It’s a subtle difference, but one that I quickly learned…and despised.  Every summer the SBs have “Revival”.  It’s a time in the year where people “re-dedicate” themselves to YHWH.  I never understood why rededication was required…once your dedicated (by a supernatural being no less) shouldn’t you stay dedicated.  I mean seriously isn’t that the meaning of the word dedicated!  If YHWH and the Holy Spirit couldn’t keep these people dedicated for at least 365 days, what type of supernatural being is YHWH?

I have posted before about one specific incident in TN before, but it is worth repeated here.  When I moved to TN I was not like the other middle-TNers.  In 6^th grade I was completely ostracized by my growing personal opinions.  Due to my curiosity and my parent’s willingness to share their knowledge my responses to specific topics were not the same as most of the other students in my class.  I trusted in evolution, I agreed that women were equal to men, I knew that computers were going to change the future (this was 1981), and since I was never going to have one I could not understand why I had a right to deny a woman the right to an abortion.  To say the least, I was a complete outsider and made many enemies with these opinions.  But I also made some friends who thought I was foolhardy but brave for standing up for what I thought.

All these experiences culminate into one life lesson (well actually many) that influenced my de-conversion.  I learned early in life that what other people think about me really does not matter.  This also lead me to learn that most people are easily “herded” by tradition and/or charismatic people due to the desire to accepted.   Having grown up in an agricultural society, I knew being considered similar to a cow (heard-able) was considered equal to be being stupid.  I certainly knew that I was not stupid.  I might come across as arrogant, but I was certainly not stupid.

Posted in The Usual Suspects, My Beliefs, Traditions of Men, Family Values?, State of Mind | Print | 7 Comments »